Beer of the Weekend #592: Keystone Light

The Loud Sister and J-Rod returned from a trip to the Ozarks and brought back a cooler-full of classy leftovers from the Show Me State. They are beers I probably won’t be buying anytime soon — or ever, perhaps — so it is a choice opportunity to continue the Great Adjunct Adventure.

The beer tonight is Keystone Light, brewed by the Coors Brewing Company of Golden, Colorado.

Serving type: 12-ounce can. “OCT0614” is written on the bottom of the can.

Appearance: Poured into a pint glass. The color is light, clear gold. Bubbles of carbonation rise from the bottom and a finger and a half of white head dissipates quickly, leaving a spotted skim and very thin ring around the edge.

Smell: The aroma is very faint. Light musty grains and a little zest. That seems to be about it.

Taste: The mouthfeel is smooth (Keith Stone was not wrong). Pale malts lend it a nice creaminess, too, which is a nice surprise. There is very minor bitterness and just a little bit of zest.

Drinkability: Basically, this is very watered down beer. It is very drinkable, but there is minimal aroma and flavor. This is beer for people who are afraid of flavor. But it is not offensive.

Fun facts about Keystone Light:

-Style: It is called “American-style light lager” on the beer’s website.

-Price: No clue. It’s pretty cheap, though.

-Alcohol content: The ABV is not listed on the Keystone Light website, but 4.13 percent is listed on the brand’s Wikipedia page. BA pegs the ABV at 4.2 percent.

-Calories: 104, which is listed on the can.

-Keystone Light was introduced in 1989. Also in the Keystone brand family are Keystone Ice and Keystone Premium, which used to be known simply as Keystone. According to Wikipedia, Keystone Dry and Keystone Amber Light were introduced in the nineties but discontinued before the end of the decade. Keystone V9 is only available in Puerto Rico.

-“Keystone Lime” is also listed on Wikipedia, but I think it’s bogus. I can’t find any official presence online and this is the full description: “Keystone Lime, introduced in Stauffer West during 2013, this well brewed amber beer has a hint of lime, and when we say hint we mean there's a real lime in each can.” Oh, the wonders of the free and open encyclopedia. That is why one does not rely on Wikipedia, kids.

-I will say that Keystone Light has always had the most amusing advertising campaigns. The “bitter beer face” commercials are legendary and I will gladly admit that I loved the “Keith Stone” ads.

-The apartment I rented in college with Mervgotti and Bobblehead (and later Self-Lover Boy) was managed by the Keystone Property Management Company. The office was, and still is, on Southgate Avenue and we always had to go there to drop off the rent and whatnot. Well, the secretary who often worked at the front desk and took our rent checks or complaints was dog ugly and our nickname for her was “Bitter Beer Face Bitch.” After a certain point, we also started calling the owner “Bitter Beer Face Bastard.” Weren't we clever?

The Quiet Man’s grade: C.

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