May 5, 2000


Ten years ago today the world was supposed to end.

Seriously. May 5, 2000 was marked as payday for all crazy street corner prophets. “The end is nigh! It’s Friday!”

Obviously, the world didn’t end (the new prediction is December 21 or 23, 2012), but it was an eerie possibility proposed in an ancient mystery show I saw on NBC when I was 10 or 11. I don’t remember how the date was chosen, but I do recall it had something to do with the length of a chamber or pathway in the Great Pyramid: each inch or centimeter represented a year (counted from when?), and the end corresponded with May 5, 2000. It was also the date when a rare “alignment” of the moon and many of the planets happened, and the mystifying forces of the cosmos would somehow play a part in the apocalypse. (I write “alignment” because no real alignment happened. See above. The moon and a number of the planets were only clustered in one part of the sky.)

This all scared the shit out of me when I was a kid, and May 5, 2000 became engraved on my conscience. I had my doubts — people were always making dubious predictions, especially about the end of the world (like crazy street corner prophets) — but, as stupid as it sounds, “the end of the world” was always in the back of my mind as the date neared. There was really nothing I could do about it except wait and see what happened.

Nothing happened, but the day turned out to be memorable for two reasons.

It was a Friday, and after school I hung out with Tom of Churchill’s Cigar. (I should mention that all day I was calmly expecting “the end” at any moment.) To kill time we drove to the Coral Ridge Mall (very teenage American) and looked around. I ended up buying Breanne, a 175g Wham-O Frisbee. (I named her after the cute chick who worked at Scheels with Mervgotti.) Afterward, Tom and I went to a stirring double reading (wink wink) at Prairie Lights for our US Lit Honors class. One of the authors read from her novel about the ancient Chinese practice of female foot binding. Interesting, yet soooooo disturbing. I can’t for the life of me remember the title or author.

During the reading I sat next to the comedy shelf. By then I knew it was not the end of the world, but I remember feeling at peace with the apocalypse if it were to truly come.

The more memorable highlight of May 5, 2000, though, was submitting my application to be an editor on my high school newspaper.

For years it was my dream to be an editor on the Little Hawk, to have my picture appear in the paper’s editorial staff box, and after working hard my junior year I was guaranteed one of the 20 editorships. But which? Our journalism adviser would determine that over the upcoming weekend.

Due May 5, the application could have been turned in anytime that week. Others submitted theirs earlier, but I waited until the final day. After returning from school the day before, I sat in front of my computer and spent the rest of the night writing the application. I listed my three editor preferences (Executive News, Executive Features, and Viewpoints) and explained why I was best suited for each. It ended up being four or five pages single-spaced. I poured my heart out, and I think I cried when I finished. It was fucking beautiful. The next morning I turned it in and awaited the adviser’s decision…that was, if the world didn’t end before then.

Life is full of odd twists, and there was no doubt a twist about May 5, 2000, 10 years ago today. For years it had been a day I anxiously awaited, but it ended up being a personal milestone and watershed moment I will always cherish.

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