Holy shit! I'm getting published!
7 or 8 am: Get up, bitch!
8 or 9:30 am to 4:30 or 4:45 pm: Work or classes.
Sometime after 5 pm: Run, eat (toast of course, what else?), workout, do homework, mess around on Facebook, think about doing other things I don't want to do, maybe do the things I don't want to do, watch a basketball games with homies, write, read, journal, laugh and smile at something no one else would ever think is amusing (this can happen anytime of the day), agonize over cover letters, pretend to do homework...
Anytime between 9 pm and 11 pm: Go to bed, bitch!
Bedtime to the time I get up, bitch!: Toss and turn in bed because I'm thinking all the time and don't ever fall asleep.
It's a wonderful twenty four hours. For spring break I've been thinking about flying to Los Angeles and chilling there for a couple days. I don't have any money, so most likely it's not happening. The most demeaning thing I think I could do is ask my parents for money. I have rarely done it, if ever. That's not an option for me. For the dates I want, the best price for roundtrip from Cedar Rapids to Santa Ana is $469. It's not bad. The flight connects in Chicago. I don't like long flights. The truth is I don't like flying in general. It's scary to me. In flight is fine; I love looking below at the towns and countryside. But takeoff and landing is nerve racking, especially landing. The tires touchdown on the runway, the wings shake, the engines are reversed. It's insane. It's cool, but insane. When you watch a plane land from a distance it looks smooth and easy. But it's a totally different experience when you're in the plane. (Travelocity's best price for flying into Los Angeles is $351 -- this might be doable after all).
I think I've decided to run for distance, but to keep it short for a while. In my head I've been toying around with the idea of running a marathon. Right now I'm no where close to being conditioned to run a marathon, even a 5k. But in time, when I'm ready and have built up enough stamina and distance, I'd like to run a marathon, run a 5k. I like running -- I really do -- but I don't want to make it my obsession, make it my entire life. Right now it's my way of exercising. Who knows what it'll be in the future.
This week I did increase my distance. For my old run I ran from my street down to the Glendale/Seventh intersection, then turned around and ran back. Now I'm turning down Seventh to Ridgeway, following Ridgeway to Lowell (the street where my aunt and uncle lived; where I caught on fire during Thanksgiving dinner), then down Lowell back to Glendale, and it's back home. It's a little more than a mile. I'll have to drive it to see how long it actually is. One thing is for sure: I'm staying clear of the massive hill at the end of Ridgeway. That hill destroyed my Achilles. Hills are good -- they're great for your legs and challenge you like none other -- but a hill like that, especially for someone who hadn't run in years, is a bad thing after a while. My Achilles hated me for about three weeks. I was so psyched to be running again, and then I had to stop. I ran the day before Thanksgiving and didn't run again until the day before Christmas.
Hold on -- I have to do this before I say my good news: "Woooo hooooooooooooo! I'm getting published!" My nonfiction piece, "Threshold," was selected to be in this years edition of Earthwords, the undergraduate literary review. Here's a link to the website, even though they haven't posted anything for the new issue (I'll let you know when they do): www.uiowa.edu/~ewords. My old self would have said, "Oh, it's just an undergrad review. It's nothing special." Fuck that. I'm getting published! It's fucking amazing! Yes, it might just be a college literary review, but the process of submission and selection is the exact same as The Paris Review or Plowshares (both of which published Raymond Carver, a god of American minimalism). And my piece represented itself, and was chosen on it's own merits. I had a short story published in The Scribe, the literary magazine at City High. Kim, the editor, came into the Newslab one morning, saw me at my computer, and asked, "Casey. Do you have a short story that'll take up four pages of space?" That's how that story got published, but not how "Threshold" will get published. People read it, put it in a pile, read it again, put it in a smaller pile, then read it again. It finally ended up in the last pile, the one for keepers, the one for the pieces they want in their magazine.
It might seem like I'm over reacting to it, but it's a big deal for me. I've wanted to be a writer all my life. I was born to be a writer. I've gotten awards and recognition before, but this is different. It's my creative work chosen for display, and not a one thousand word news story. For me I'm over that hump now; I've been published in something other than a newspaper and my high school literary magazine. It's me and not an assignment. That's what's so great about it. It all came from me. It was something I wrote for me and for everyone, not to fill white space between drink special advertisements. This is my achievement, a testament to all the hard work I've done to be a better writer. I still need work, but I'm going in the right direction. It's hard to describe, but it's an amazing feeling when hard work finally pays off. It's like taking a deep breath after you've finished something difficult and important, and shaking your head in amazement as you exhale. You're proud of yourself; you've outdone what you expected of yourself. My favorite saying ever is from Back to the Future: "If you put your mind to it, you can accomplish anything." It's what I live by.
I suppose I could draw it out and make a huge list of people to thank, since this is awards season in the entertainment industry. It's my blog, so I might as well. I could thank a lot of people, but there are two people who deserve it most: Martha Valenis and Mark Johnston. Thank you.
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