Just not for me: Why I deactivated my Facebook account

I made a note on my calendar when I deactivated my Facebook account. “Deactivated Facebook acct,” I wrote on June 6, 2017. I felt it was a noteworthy enough event to be recorded for personal posterity, and I’m thankful now that I did it, because I misremembered the exact date.

I don’t recall what pushed me to do it that day, don’t remember if there was a deciding factor or event, but I had thought about deactivating or deleting my Facebook account for a long time. Finally doing it was the culmination of a longtime apathy toward the social network and the realization that it’s just not for me.

Why did I deactivate my Facebook account? The main reason is because Facebook is not a good fit for me. The social network is antithetical to my personality. I’m an introvert—quiet, reserved, private, shy, mysterious. I dislike and do not want attention. I’m a wallflower who prefers observation over participation. I am incompatible with Facebook, where TMI, gratuitous photos, and kneejerk rants are common. Those things are not required—one can use Facebook however he sees fit—but I felt out of place as others divulged everything about themselves and I remained silent.

I was not always an inactive user, though. For a year or so after I joined, I wrote on friends’ walls, had my blog linked to my profile, and uploaded photos. (I remember one tongue-in-cheek album about rearranging my room to accommodate a bookshelf I bought from Bobblehead. I cringe thinking about it now.) It was a short lapse of character that I attribute to my graduation-induced identity crisis. In time, I deleted my photos, the comments I made, and the link to my blog. I made everything on my profile private so not even friends could see anything about me or my activity (not that there was anything to see anyway).

I was a silent user for years, logging in once every week or so to check on close friends if I had not heard from them. I did not post photos, write comments, or like or dislike anything. Using Facebook more was a New Year’s resolution in 2015, but I broke it. I felt no desire to do anything other than check what Bobbehead, Zee German, and Mervgotti were doing, no desire to share or post anything myself, and no desire to fight for attention or take part in what seems to have become a worldwide game of can you top this?

That’s the other reason I deactivated my Facebook account, another reason the site is antithetical to me: I have nothing to post or share. I live a dull, uneventful life without a significant other or children. I don’t feel the need to divulge every detail about my life to everyone I am connected to online.

Facebook asked about my overall usage during the deactivation process. When I responded that I did not use the site much and did not find it useful, Facebook’s response was akin to, “Well, if you used the site, you might find it more useful.”

Touché!

While a fear of missing out can be a negative by-product of using social media, Facebook did not affect me that way. I did not feel the need to do things because others were doing them, feel self-conscious because I was not doing this or that. However, it was hard not to compare myself to everyone else. Seeing the things they (selectively) posted about their lives often made me feel worthless. I’m not going on (seemingly) exotic vacations or doing (seemingly) important, cool things. Using Facebook often induced unjustified depression and scathing self-assessment. Not cool. I’ve been there, done that, and don’t want to do it again.

Facebook’s privacy and data issues and its culture of negativity and grumbling were bothersome too. It became an all-around distasteful experience I wanted no part of anymore, so I deactivated my account.

I don’t remember much about the process, but it was mostly painless. That’s why I chose deactivation over deletion. Not only is it easier (I think one needs to contact Facebook by email or phone in order to delete an account), it gives me the chance to return if I wish; all I need to do is login and my profile is reactivated. Deleting seemed too extreme. I remember my password and think about logging in just for the hell of it, just to see what’s going on, but I haven’t.

It’s been well over one year since I left Facebook, and I have no regrets about it. But I will say that one misses a lot by not being on the site. For better or worse, Facebook has become the nexus for personal news and communication, so I missed a number of announcements and invitations. However, they reached me eventually through word of mouth or other means, so I was not left in the dark.

Plainly obvious, though, is this great irony: I blog and am active on Twitter. Everything I did not do on Facebook, I do on my blog and Twitter. Why did I feel no desire to share my life on Facebook but willingly and comfortably do so on Twitter and my blog? Why do Twitter and blogging fit my personality but Facebook doesn’t?

I don’t know, but maybe I’m not that introverted after all.