Smoke Watch 2013: Catholicism in HD

Though I am not Catholic, and am not a religious person anymore, I will admit the resignation of Pope Benedict XVI and the current efforts to elect his successor are interesting. Case in point: I am watching the BBC’s live “smoke watch” feed. It is nothing much — just a couple camera angles showing the special chimney atop the Sistine Chapel and the expectant crowd, holding umbrellas, gathered in St. Peter’s Square — but it is history in the making. Which is much more than I can say about Duck Dynasty.

Before 2005, a papal election was one of those historic events that had yet to happen in my lifetime. It would no doubt happen again, but for a long time it was something I had only read about in history books. It was something I wanted to witness — not in person, but in the sense of being alive and aware of its significance. It finally happened and, frankly, did not make much of an impression. John Paul II died, he was mourned, black smoked rose from the chimney three times before white smoke signaled the election of Joseph Ratzinger. After the initial media blitz, I forgot all about Benedict XVI except for Bobblehead’s “Pope Skeletor” references and when attention was given to the Vatican around Easter and Christmas. Having been raised Lutheran, popes mean nothing to me; they are nothing but men in funny hats. But my interest was piqued again when—

Well, there’s white smoke and the bells are tolling. A new pope has been elected. There is an audio feed, too, and I switched back to Firefox when the crowd gasped. The dark smoke billowing from the chimney turned white and the cheering began.

Anyway, my interest was piqued when Benedict announced his unprecedented resignation, and now here we are awaiting the identity of the new, acting, pope. The cameras once fixed on the chimney are now zooming in on the balcony.

I have now switched to the other BBC feed with news commentary.

Though I have not dedicated much study to it, Catholicism seems to me to be a mystery inside a riddle, wrapped inside a tortilla of staunch tradition, and served dry with a small side of hypocrisy. It is intriguing at the least. My dad’s family is Catholic and at least once a year we attended “Mass” with my uncles, aunts, and cousins in the St. Francis Xavier Basilica in Dyersville. It is beautiful but gaudy. There is a lot of gold, a lot of marble; statues of the saints stand on platforms and the ceiling is covered in murals. Not all Catholic churches are as ostentatious, but there is a notable emphasis on symbols. To me it was always akin to idolatry, and I cannot help thinking the same about all this fuss about a mortal man. He and the confusing hierarchy he sits atop commands so much attention that it seems to overshadow the real focus of the church.

But I am not Catholic so it does not matter to me. I’m just sayin’.

Jorge Mario Bergoglio, a humble, 76-year-old Argentinian who rides the bus to work, has been elected. He is the first Jesuit pope, the first non-European pope in over 1,000 years, and has taken the name Pope Francis.

Exciting times! Epic, world-altering events and changes like this excite me. The revelation of the new pope’s name was what I anticipated most. It is something that will be printed throughout history.

Well, I think this will make a lasting impression on me. From the first puffs of smoke to the new pope’s first appearance, I witnessed this courtesy of hundreds of Internet servers, millions of miles of fiber-optic cable, and, I am sure, quite a few IT guys hidden away in their dungeons. I was not expecting to witness history in HD but got that chance today.

All right. Time to stop watching and get back to work.