Australian for hot

It has been so hot in Australia recently that the Australian Bureau of Meteorology added two color gradients for temperatures above 50ºC (122ºF).

On Monday, Australia recorded its hottest, country-wide average maximum temperature — 40.33ºC (104.59ºF) — and some say the country’s highest recorded temperature ever, 50.7ºC (123.26ºF), may be under threat. It was so hot in Birdsville that sandals were melting on bitumen-covered surfaces. Though the heat wave seems to be relenting, temperatures between 50-52ºC (122-125.6ºF) had been forecast for a Tasmania-sized region in South Australia for the beginning of next week.

This is astonishing stuff. The numbers are just insane, especially for someone who hates heat as much as I do. (Last week’s cold snap was a joy to behold. I loved it! I zipped my coat all the way up, put on my warmest stocking hat and gloves, and took a couple long walks through the frozen landscape of Hickory Hill. It was beautiful.) Honestly, it is hard to imagine heat that intense. Summertime visits to my uncle’s former home in La Quinta were unbearable — and it only reached 110ºF at most. I would literally sweat my ass off there. If I spent too much time in the sun, the seat of my pants would be soaked through with sweat. Someone said it was like standing behind a jet engine. I thought it was more like being inside an oven. It was inhospitable no matter what, so it is difficult to comprehend temperatures even higher.

Here is one thing that seems to get lost in the discussions on climate change and global warming: the temperatures we find agreeable and hospitable, and best suited for our survival, fall within a very small range. For those of us in the Midwest, temperatures in the high eighties border on too hot and those in the forties are pretty cool (unless it is March, when temperatures in the forties mean shorts and basketball in the driveway after a long, cold winter). What does that mean? We are a very fragile species.

Stay cool, Aussies.