It's not easy becoming Green

The time has come for me to get Iowa license plates and an Iowa drivers license. I have resided in the state for 30 continuous days, been paid (though not by Iowa employers), and have paid a few “utility” bills (i.e. health and car insurance), so I am qualified to officially make myself an Iowan again.

It will be hard giving up my California tags and ID not only because it signals a government sanctioned end to what I have started to call My California Adventure, but because I will no longer be different. Without California blandies, I’ll be driving another nondescript car with nothing but my stickers to make it stand out; drivers behind me will no longer take note of my exceptional driving skills and lead foot and say, “That guy’s from California.” (The only person I know for sure who took notice of my out of state plates was some hick at the casino in Riverside. As Mergotti and I were leaving, a group of people walking toward the casino were admiring all the out of county plates. When they passed my car one guy said, “California! That guy came all the way from California!” Yep. Just for Hall & Oates.) When I buy beer, cashiers won’t need to carefully examine the unfamiliar design of my California license, or ask “California, eh?” or “Why are you in Iowa?” or tell me “This summer I was in…” to claim kinship and a little “California cool.” (Seeing the Santa Cruz address on my ID, the beer guru at Dirty John’s, moonlighting at the register, told me he had been in Surf City earlier this year. “Really cool place,” he said. “I know,” I said. “I used to live there.”)

But that’s beside the point. I could write a whole post about giving up my California identity, and likely will when it happens…which won’t be for another week or so. Despite a growing sense of guilt and laziness, I’m holding out, and milking that $233 registration renewal, for as long as I can. So in the meantime I need to figure out how I will register to vote.

It’s not so much how to register to vote — that is simple — but if and how I will register for party affiliation.

An Iowa voter registration card is listed among the accepted documents for acquiring a license and vehicle registration, so registering to vote, it seems, is a vital first step in reclaiming status as an Iowan. And since I am always sweating (and writing about) the small stuff, choosing or declining party affiliation is no small matter.

Slowly but surely, issue by issue, I am discovering my political identity. I prefer to categorize myself as “politically homeless,” and have shunned the label of any isms or placement on the left-right spectrum. Zee German called me as a “radical,” and I suppose it’s most fitting in an all-encompassing sense.

So how do I, a “radical,” register to vote in Iowa?

Since I’m not a Republicrat, Iowa’s voter registration card offers me three affiliation possibilities: No Party, Green, and Libertarian. (Technically, the Green and Libertarian options are under the “Non-Party Political Organizations” heading, while “No Party” is listed under “Parties” with Republicrat. It makes no sense, but we won’t get into that.) “No Party” seems to be the best fit. I was, I think, previously registered independent in Iowa, and my California affiliation was Decline-to-State (DTS). But part of me yearns, however foolishly, to become affiliated with a recognized political party, so I need to think long and hard about registering as a Green.

The classic “my rights end where your rights begin” credo is appealing and appreciable to me, but it is, as far as I know, as libertarian as I get. From my understanding, libertarianism is too greedy and individualistic for me; it defeats the communal alliance I believe to be the core of government. In fact, true libertarianism seems antonymous to government. Ideally, I suppose it would be akin to people living amicably with each other — but with no roads, public schools, police (or military; defend yourself, biotch), fire protection, judicial system, civil ambulance service, health care (for you Canadians, Europeans, and many Latin Americans), social net, official currency, insured banking system, parks, telecommunications infrastructure, power grid, sewer system, drainage system, clean tap water, environmental protection, consumer safety regulations, air traffic control… Everything we create together, as a government with pooled resources, would either be nonexistent or privatized. I feel the driving force behind American libertarianism is consumer and corporate greed. Many Americans would rather spend their money on iPods, HDTVs, and the latest cell phones (in a nutshell: on themselves) than public services, and the American business plutocracy would love more frivolous spending. Sorry, but I am not willing to be a co-conspirator in the privatization of an entire country.

Maybe I have libertarianism all wrong (I’ll need to check with Bobblehead and Zee German about this), but either way I like the idea of community, a sense of a greater good, and publicly built and owned infrastructure. I also like the concept of public regulation and protection as a check against corporate greed. All of these things, of course, cost money — which I will gladly pay as a benefiting member of the community.

The basic gist of my slowly shaping political ideology, and my personal convictions to environmentalism and equality, match well with the Green platform. Though my opinion differs on a few issues, I mostly agree with each of the 10 “key values” outlined on the Iowa Green Party website.

With the possible exception of 2004, I have voted Green in the last three presidential elections. (Shamefully, I can’t remember whom I voted for president in ’04. I tell people I wrote-in Terry Francona and Derek Lowe, but in reality I’m unsure if I voted for the Cobb/LaMarche Green ticket or Nadar/Camejo, running as independents. I remember being impressed with Camejo during the 2003 California gubernatorial recall debates, and may have thrown my support to him.) I vote for Green candidates whenever possible; I not only do it as a “Fuck you” to Republicrats, but because, as I said, I am mostly in agreement with the Green platform.

Claiming affiliation with the Greens is very agreeable to me, but my problem with them is their whimsical impracticality. Their core beliefs are stupidly sensible, but, given human nature and our current political and economic realities, even I’ll admit some may only be the stuff of Flower Power induced dreams. I have no doubt the Greens realize the immense and almost hopelessly complex clusterfuck we have gotten ourselves into, but, as far as I know, they fail to offer a plausible and well-sketched plan to change things for the better. Kudos to the Green’s for advocating full educational funding, higher standards of pollution control, and universal health care, but how exactly do they plan to makes those reality?

It’s one thing to be a blowhard and announce to the world what you believe and want (like most Republicrats), and another thing to have solutions with feasible plans laid down. I don’t see plans; only opinions and ideas. I want to know how the Greens propose to end “reliance on gambling revenues to support state programs” given Iowa’s current economic and tax climate, and how a state or national living-wage will work in an age of globalization.

Of course, these details are too much for a simple, informative list of key values on a website. Perhaps the Greens have concrete plans laid out, and perhaps I would learn more about them if I joined the party. Registration as a Green may be followed by a veritable library of political and economic blueprints for the future in my mailbox.

If anything else, joining the Green Party would be a great way to get involved. I did, after all, say I believe in community and communal ties. It is high time I join the community and become an active participant in the government process, and I think claiming affiliation with the Greens will better enable me to do that. By comparison, registering “No Party” would be like proclaiming myself a fuddy-duddy Libertarian, who wants to live a quiet and peaceful life in his hermit cave without anyone else bothering him.

Unless I decide otherwise, I think I’ll go Green.